Monday, July 24, 2006

How Did You Find Out?

While the entire family gathered at my parent’s house after Grandma’s party, we got to talking about having babies and finding out the sex prior to the baby’s birth. Being in a room with a newborn and a VERY pregnant woman, those topics are bound to come up. Both Rob and Erica and Meridith and Derek chose not to learn the sex of their babies until they were born. Meridith was curious to find out how special it was going to be. Although they were expecting their second child, they found out Mallory’s sex before she was born. Erica imagined that not knowing would give her the motivation she needed during the birthing process, but it didn’t work out as she expected. Rob said that he wished that they found out when Erica wasn’t so exhausted. Still, it was really neat for him to hear his wife tell him that they had a son.

Danny and I chose to find out whether Allison or Nolan/Reilly was on the way. Truth be told, I don’t have the patience to wait for anything exciting unless it can’t happen any other way. The day we found out was a wonderful day. It’s one of the happiest moments of my happy pregnancy. Because we were unable to tell during our scheduled ultrasound, we made an appointment at another hospital for a 4D ultrasound nine weeks later (yes, it killed me to have to wait that much longer). The hospital was about an hour away. We made it special by taking a vacation day. We dropped Emma off at daycare, went to our appointment and found out together that our beautiful daughter was on the way. Afterwards, we called everyone with the news and went to my favorite Blacksburg restaurant for lunch. We were riding on a high the entire day. Our dreams for the baby were taking more shape because she was a girl. I could rub my belly and call Allison by her name.

I’ve given what Rob said some thought. It was neat to hear him say that, but I was very happy with the way we handled my pregnancy with Allison. Emma was another situation entirely. We were told that she was a girl when we got “the call.” Then, it occurred to me. What Rob said struck a chord with me because I did have that same experience after all. I just hadn't thought about it that way.

The day that the agency called to tell us that we had been selected by a birthmother, I was attending a class at the local community college for work. The social worker attempted to call me. I wasn’t answering the phone so she called Danny. He got the news first. I had my cell phone with me, but I turned it off. It wasn’t because I was worried about interrupting the class. I turned it off because I kept checking to see if anyone had called us about our house (we'd just put it on the market). The temptation was just too great and I couldn't pay attention. Meanwhile, Danny was trying desperately to contact me. As a last ditch effort before driving to campus and yelling my name until he found me, he sent a text message. During a break, I turned on the phone and opened the text message. My assumption was that it was about the house. The message was very short. All is said was: “Baby!” I can’t fully describe how I felt as I read that message and it sunk in what he was saying. I ran to the bathroom and called him. It was then that he told me that we were selected and that our baby was a girl. We talked for a long time about meeting the birth family, we went over the details a few times. We were both so excited. Because I heard the great news from him and not the social worker, I was able to be myself. I didn’t have to censor my excitement or hear anyone say that I need to be prepared for it not going through. It was a wonderful phone call.

I joke around about Danny getting all of the “good” phone calls – Danny also got the phone call after Emma was born – but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Along with our ultrasound date in Radford, it was a glorious experience that we shared as a couple. Yes, it was so nice and special to hear from my husband that we were going to have a daughter.


DD said...

Blogger ate my comment!

As I was saying...

I would've been so shook that the best I could've text'd a.a.a.w. instead of b.a.b.y.

the quists said...

I love hearing stories like that, especially from people like you who longed for a child and got the call from the adoption agency, I don't know if you could be more excited!
I am like you though, I couldn't wait, especially when I had an ultrasound machine at my disposal at work. Yes, I scanned myself a lot...until I found out what I was having :) I found out with Lana at 17 weeks, and David at 14 weeks. And as I was scanning I would talk to my belly :) That was a special time for me.
I love ya Jennifer!

Trista said...

There's definitely no "bad" time or way to find out. If I had biolgical children, I would have waited until the births to find out... but finding out that Abby was our daughter, or that Ethan was to a and would be born 2 months later felt great, too!

You could never wait, if given the choice - I love that about you!