Night 2 - not so pleasant as night 1. I lost sleep for sure, but I reasured myself that this was better than the alternative of getting no sleep while Allison screamed, wailed and convulsed.
Night 3 - the best night yet. Allison's new bedtime arrangements and routine really seem to suit her. She was up twice, but I was back in bed within 5 minutes both times. She doesn't want to have her pre-bedtime snack and water in the living room anymore. She wants "my bed." When I ask her if she has a big girl bed, she gets the sweetest smirk and says, "Yeah."
Allison is loving it. Mommy is having major - unexpected - withdrawls. I enjoyed rocking her to sleep and cuddling with her on and off during the night. If I didn't, I would have changed her sleeping arrangements long ago. Still, over the past few months, I've grown restless. I wanted my bedroom back. I wanted the master bathroom to be an oasis where I could relax and prepare for my day - not a place to change dirty diapers. I reclaimed both rooms by making this move. I jumped for joy all day Saturday until Ally went to sleep that night. It wasn't until then that I realized what I was giving up. Rocking her to sleep at night was a relaxing oasis from my day. Her warmth, her smile, her silly ways of winding down by poking her nose and ears with the satin edges of her blanket and, most of all, her smell are so comforting. For the past three nights I go to bed feeling like my day is not complete. It's not the early morning kicks in the eye that I remember now that life has changed. It's the sound of her sucking on her pacifier and the way she hovered over my head to wake me up that I'm missing.
I'm losing my baby and it's hard.