Pull Up Wars

Updated at the end

Last night, when I picked Allison up from daycare, Allison had just gotten over throwing a fit. When A, the evening daycare teacher, last changed her, Allison through a fit because she wanted to wear a pull up, not a diaper. For the next hour she cried for me and kept saying that I would come with her pull ups. A. felt very bad for her. This is the first recorded 60 minute fit Ally ever threw at daycare.

This isn't the first pull up run in we've had with her. Even though I keep telling her that pull ups are for big girls who go potty on the potty chair, she could care less. She wants the status of wearing them without the responsibility. One night she came home from school with a pull up on. Let's just say that getting her in to a diaper for bed was not a pleasant experience.

There are two approaches that immediately come to mind: letting her wear pull ups and worry about the potty training later or forcing her to wear diapers and make the daycare teachers live with her tantrums. For now, I'm opting for the former. Daycare workers don't get paid enough to deal with Allison and her pull up tantrums. She's a stubborn girl and I rather doubt that she'd let this one go easily. The up side might be that pull ups don't retain as much fluid. She doesn't like to be wet or cold. Maybe that will prompt her to use the potty. Who am I kidding? She'll just demand a new pull up.

Today when I dropped her off, I told Ms. M. that if she pottied on the potty chair (I didn't specify the number of times) that she would get an ice cream cone at McDonalds tonight. We'll see what happens. If it were just me, I would fight to the finish over making pull ups a reward for good pottying. It's not just me who has to deal with her, though.

I'm not a big worrier about potty training. I figure that at some point she'll be trained. I don't see the point of getting frustrated over something that will eventually happen no matter what I do. Pull ups are more expensive than diapers, but not that much. So why do I view this as a war?

I guess that with Allison I feel like I'm always backing down. I feel like my parental authority carries as much weight with her as a fuzzy feather blowing in the winter wind. There never seems to be a hill I'm prepared to die on - at least long enough to actually die guarding it. As much as she is delightful, Ally is so bull-headed. I have no idea of how best to handle her in most situations. The only thing I've figured out so far is that when she's throwing a tantrum, putting her off by herself calms her down better than anything else. Am I too much of a pleaser to be an effective parent for her? ACK!

Allison is once again making me eat crow. When I picked her up from daycare, I discovered that she went potty on the potty chair four times that day. Ms. M left a message on Ally's daily form stating that Allison had made wonderful progress. She was proud and amazed. Maybe she's not as bull-headed as I have led you to believe. Maybe I'm the one who's boxing her in to a corner. In the poignant words spoken by Patrick Swazye in his prime: "No one puts Baby in a corner!" This baby's mother needs to keep that in mind.